February 2012
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Other Kitchen Tips
If you buy cheap frozen pizza, buy some vegetables too. When the pizza is halfway through baking, throw some cut veggies on top and it won’t take like complete shit. When baking brownies from a mixed box, read the directions and make sure it says “use UNGREASED pan blah blah blah.” Get home and GREASE the sucker with butter like Paula Deen’s watching over your shoulder....
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I've Peaked
This is it, guys. I’ve officially made my contribution to society by introducing to you: Hot Chocolate Caramel Coffee* 1 packet of hot chocolate (preferably Swiss Miss) 1 tsp sugar 1-2 cups of strongly brewed coffee (whatever makes you feel good) however-much-you-want-of** caramel creamer (I like Natural Bliss Caramel by Coffee-Mate) If you cannot figure out the directions by yourself,...
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Overheard at Work
Manager 1: ...you know the Boys & Girls Club?
Manager 2: No, I'm from Indiana.
Manager 1: Uh, it's national.
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Does anyone have their old x-rays or high res...
Creeper question of the millennium, I know, so let me explain. I’m currently sewing a couture jacket based on the concept of x-rays for my tailoring class. I’d really like the lining of the jacket to have an actual x-ray print. If anyone has old x-rays from falling out of Jim Blake’s apple tree when they were younger (I could kiss you on the mouth if you got that reference) or...
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Oh, Teenagers!
(Excerpt taken from interviewing teenagers at a 24 hour diner - rookie) ANAHEED: Where were you guys before this? LI’L ARF: We were at [Strawberry’s] house, and [before that] we were at a party. ANAHEED: What kind of party was it? STRAWBERRY: Kind of like a rave. ANAHEED: Was it fun? AMNESIA: I don’t remember.
January 2012
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Lily Allen - Not Fair
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“Yeah, well I also have a lot of imaginary arguments with the couples on House...”
– The Liz Lemon (Season 6, Ep. 2) FOR REALLLLLLLLL I HATE HH FOR THIS REASON
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High School Ghosts
So I’m sitting in the school’s computer lab and this dude comes up to me: Dude: Are you Brynn? Me: Yeah. Dude: Did you go to [high school name 500+ miles away]? Me……..yeah? Dude: I went to high school with you! Me. Whaaaaatttttttttttttttttt
I’m just writing this down so when I’ve gone missing or am found dead, you can tell the police that his name was Jason and...
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Spoon - Don’t You Evah
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I am pretty buzzed right now and I’m filling out an application for a cheese factory in Wisconsin because this is what my life has come to, apparently.
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AA
Mom: Did I make your champagne cocktail too strong?
Me: Yeah. It's a little rough.
Mom: Well you're a cheap date!
Me: Mom, I don't think that's something you're supposed to say to your daughter let alone about her...
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Watchtiedtothesun:
thedailywhat:
Another Movie Trailer of the Day: First official trailer for Moonrise Kingdom — the latest installment in Wes Anderson’s storied directorial repertoire.
The film, which stars Anderson vets Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman alongside Bruce Willis, Ed Norton, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, and newcomers Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward, is set to open in theaters May...
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The Killers - Jenny Was a Friend of Mine Maybe...
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“How fortuitous to be able to touch the human frame. To be exhilarated by a craft...”
– Vidal Sassoon
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“Have you seen the movie Speed?!?!”
– A lady just literally shouted this on the bus I’m riding. This is it, guys. I’m going to die.
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